Baby is here, and as naturally comes with baby having arrived, so does changes to your daily routine, sleep patterns, roles in your relationship and home and changes to your self-identity. The transition to parenthood is challenging and can be overwhelming given the demands of your new responsibilities. Although most mothers experience fleeting intrusive thoughts about their babies safety, for others these can cause them to question themselves and impact the way you bond to your baby.

Birth itself can be traumatic and depending upon the circumstances that you are coming home too (differences in support, feeding difficulties, social isolation, financial strain, unsettled baby, health conditions) can amplify the experience for mothers. Many women feel after having a baby that it is ‘normal to get baby blues’, however after receiving help and support from a psychologist they realise what they were experiencing wasn’t baby blues, but actually postpartum depression.

Some new parents feel overwhelmed and disappointed with unmet expectations about the babies gender, what they thought parenthood would be like, the way that they pictured people supporting them or showing up to help them, the way others might critique their parenting styles. Just as every baby is different, so is each parents experience as well as them searching for the ‘right way’ to be a parent.

There is also different stages in the first few years of having a child that can cause emotional strain, such as returning to work, toddler tantrums, adjusting to child development leaps, pressure of earning money whilst being a ‘present parent’.

Many parents find that conflicting expectations or assumptions can cause difficulties within their relationship. Your baby may or may not be the baby you expected to have, some will be settled while others may take time to settle or cry a lot. The challenges that this causes by demanding significant patient and commitment whilst you feel drained and tired can lead you to feeling as though you have times where things feel out of control, or even doubt about yourself being a ‘good parent’.

It is common for parents to seek support at various points across the first few years of a child’s life. It is important to remember that these issues are common and with help can be treated – or alternatives found to help you cope and reduce your worries and distress.